My friend Court yesterday said to me, "Heidi, you're not a leftover casserole, but if you were, you'd be tuna noodle, because it's the best." That was so nice! And LittleMary reminded me that sometimes leftovers taste the best, especially with cheese and tortilla chips. So, ok - maybe I just need to tell the story a little differently, here.
More than a few people here stopped me yesterday to tell me how glad they were to see me still around. They said they hoped I would find a job, but it was nice to have me here. No one said, "What are YOU still doing here???"
And you know, I still haven't heard from St. X. And maybe they'll call, and maybe they won't. Maybe they'll hire someone else. Or maybe another job will open up. Maybe not. But maybe I can make a ministry and a worthwhile year for myself with what's around me here. Honestly, I'd rather do that than force myself into a parish job, just for the sake of having one.
My friend Jim wondered if, deep down, I wasn't feeling drawn to parish ministry, period. That's an interesting question - I'm not sure. It may be a matter of finding the right parish. Or maybe he's right, and I've been looking at the wrong jobs for the last nine months. Sometimes I'm not good at sorting out what I OUGHT to do and what I WANT to do. But I'm not ready to say that I don't really want to do parish ministry, yet. There's still something about it that draws me - but I'm not sure what it is. Something to pray about.
hey babe- sorry i haven't replied to the e-mail or your post of yesterday. i'm thinking of you with love in these in-between times.
ReplyDeleteglad your feeling yummy and loved today.
I definitely sympathize with this feeling. I think the challenge for me is (1) I am relatively comfortable where I am (2) I know I have to leave eventually and (3) I am not always super excited about "new" possibilities. Could I apply for the job in Hawaii or Texas? Yes. But these are unknown places for me, my chance of success is small, etc, etc, etc, etc.
ReplyDeleteI do think you are very gifted and are called. Chicago is probably a tough market. If you need to stretch, you can do that when the times comes. But I definitely hear you: working part-time jobs and waiting for the call gets a bit old.