I know, I'm getting married tomorrow. Don't I have better things to think about? Couldn't resist: (from the Episcopal News Service daily news digest)
"On August 29, 1535, Pope Paul II excommunicated English King Henry VIII, who had been declared by an earlier pope as "Most Christian King" and "Defender of the Faith." "
I love how my denomination was founded by heresy and divorce. Sort of. I mean, it's a good yarn anyway, right? And it keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Getting married
Oops. MDG blogging day is SEPTEMBER 25, not August. (Thanks, Raisin!) Oh well. Can't seem to keep any dates straight lately! (See two posts ago...)
I've been lying awake for two hours. I wish I could sleep, because I was up at 5:30am yesterday to drive in for the Hyde Park Farmers' Market to buy flowers with my aunt. Oh well. Probably won't sleep much tonight either!
It is both unbelievable that we're getting married tomorrow -- me? married? -- and it seems totally unremarkable -- like, well, of course we're doing this. The dress is hanging on the closet door in a garment bag. The rings are in a bag in the closet. Adam's parents and Aunt Becky will cook all the food today. My aunt Beth and dear friend Monica will make corsages and lapel flowers and table bouquets. My dear friend Shuli is bringing dozens of bright, polyester saris to cover the tables and decorate the parish hall. And just so many people are coming to join us -- that's really the best part: getting married, and sharing it with all these people we love. What a crazy thing. (Although I confess, wearing my grandmother's long, heavy satin dress is pretty great, too.)
Having so much help around here is sooooo great. But staying in Adam's student house without air conditioning is a challenge. It's like a big castle, which is charming in winter and stifling in summer. But Sunday night, we'll be in cool and breezy northern Minnesota! On the shores of Lake Superior, which will probably be too cold to swim in, but right now, that all sounds pretty nice. The hotel has free canoes for guests, too.
I'll be back in town to preach the following Sunday, and I think it will all seem like a rush of life just blew by. But I'll be pretty happy, I think. :)
I've been lying awake for two hours. I wish I could sleep, because I was up at 5:30am yesterday to drive in for the Hyde Park Farmers' Market to buy flowers with my aunt. Oh well. Probably won't sleep much tonight either!
It is both unbelievable that we're getting married tomorrow -- me? married? -- and it seems totally unremarkable -- like, well, of course we're doing this. The dress is hanging on the closet door in a garment bag. The rings are in a bag in the closet. Adam's parents and Aunt Becky will cook all the food today. My aunt Beth and dear friend Monica will make corsages and lapel flowers and table bouquets. My dear friend Shuli is bringing dozens of bright, polyester saris to cover the tables and decorate the parish hall. And just so many people are coming to join us -- that's really the best part: getting married, and sharing it with all these people we love. What a crazy thing. (Although I confess, wearing my grandmother's long, heavy satin dress is pretty great, too.)
Having so much help around here is sooooo great. But staying in Adam's student house without air conditioning is a challenge. It's like a big castle, which is charming in winter and stifling in summer. But Sunday night, we'll be in cool and breezy northern Minnesota! On the shores of Lake Superior, which will probably be too cold to swim in, but right now, that all sounds pretty nice. The hotel has free canoes for guests, too.
I'll be back in town to preach the following Sunday, and I think it will all seem like a rush of life just blew by. But I'll be pretty happy, I think. :)
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Millennium Development Goals
I promised to blog on the MDGs today, with Episcopalians For Global Reconciliation.
I got a little burned out on activism and social justice in college, I'm afraid. I tend to get overwhelmed by extreme poverty and suffering; I shut down and get fatalistic about the dangers and limits of human finitude, and I find myself with little hope in what God and humans can do in the face of evil and death. Not good.
1.2 billion people on this earth live on less than $1 a day. Today, I bought a coffee and a cookie for $1.49. On Saturday, I went with a group of my church members to pack food for Feed My Starving Children, an organization that has developed a nutritious rice-soy blend that makes a meal for one person for 15 cents! They send this food mix all over the world, mostly to -- as you might guess -- starving children. I could have lunch every day for fifteen cents and still be a healthy, strong person!
I struggle with my everyday life -- ups and downs, financial strains, to do lists, the stress of ministry. But I live in a wonderful apartment. I drink clean water. I have had twenty years of formal education. I am a woman and I am not a doormat. I don't go hungry. If Adam and I have children, chances are our babies will live to be older than five years old. AIDS hasn't decimated the community I live in.
I could just sit back and feel lucky. But I think it is my responsibility to provide for my brothers and sisters in need in this world -- "whatever you do for the least of my brothers," Jesus said, "you do for me." What is this privileged life we lead worth if we do not share what we have?
Although it is a process. I wish I could feel as good about spending $50 or $100 on a hunger organization as I do on a pair of shoes, for instance. Anyway, these are the UN's Millennium Development Goals. Find a charity that makes a difference and give them some money. You'll feel good. It will actually make a difference. Maybe build a relationship with this charity, support them over time, and get emotionally involved. And you'll prove that humans are as capable of love and good, as they are of evil and destruction.
Goal 1: Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger
Goal 2: Achieve universal primary education
Goal 3: Promote gender equality and empower women
Goal 4: Reduce child mortality
Goal 5: Improve maternal health
Goal 6: Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases
Goal 7: Ensure environmental sustainability
Goal 8: Develop a Global Partnership for Development
I got a little burned out on activism and social justice in college, I'm afraid. I tend to get overwhelmed by extreme poverty and suffering; I shut down and get fatalistic about the dangers and limits of human finitude, and I find myself with little hope in what God and humans can do in the face of evil and death. Not good.
1.2 billion people on this earth live on less than $1 a day. Today, I bought a coffee and a cookie for $1.49. On Saturday, I went with a group of my church members to pack food for Feed My Starving Children, an organization that has developed a nutritious rice-soy blend that makes a meal for one person for 15 cents! They send this food mix all over the world, mostly to -- as you might guess -- starving children. I could have lunch every day for fifteen cents and still be a healthy, strong person!
I struggle with my everyday life -- ups and downs, financial strains, to do lists, the stress of ministry. But I live in a wonderful apartment. I drink clean water. I have had twenty years of formal education. I am a woman and I am not a doormat. I don't go hungry. If Adam and I have children, chances are our babies will live to be older than five years old. AIDS hasn't decimated the community I live in.
I could just sit back and feel lucky. But I think it is my responsibility to provide for my brothers and sisters in need in this world -- "whatever you do for the least of my brothers," Jesus said, "you do for me." What is this privileged life we lead worth if we do not share what we have?
Although it is a process. I wish I could feel as good about spending $50 or $100 on a hunger organization as I do on a pair of shoes, for instance. Anyway, these are the UN's Millennium Development Goals. Find a charity that makes a difference and give them some money. You'll feel good. It will actually make a difference. Maybe build a relationship with this charity, support them over time, and get emotionally involved. And you'll prove that humans are as capable of love and good, as they are of evil and destruction.
Goal 1: Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger
Goal 2: Achieve universal primary education
Goal 3: Promote gender equality and empower women
Goal 4: Reduce child mortality
Goal 5: Improve maternal health
Goal 6: Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases
Goal 7: Ensure environmental sustainability
Goal 8: Develop a Global Partnership for Development
Friday, August 22, 2008
Life escalates
Gosh, I'm getting married a week from tomorrow.
One hour, I'm totally anxious about things like table decorations and ugly basement walls, and the next I feel relaxed and eager to see people I love. And to get married, of course.
I decided not to change my name. Being me, I still go back and forth about this a bit -- I could become Heidi Haverkamp Frieberg legally, but just continue to use Haverkamp professionally? This is such a new era in my life, but at the same time, I'll still be me. Aw, I'm just a waffler! And when I talk about it, I make Adam tired. So, I'll be quiet now, since he reads this. But then again, having something else to obsess about keeps me away from the table decorations. Maybe being Heidi Frieberg wouldn't be such a big change, But then, I already have a nameplate that says HEIDI HAVERKAMP on my office door (as of just last week!) and plus I told the congregation last Sunday I wasn't changing my name, as a result of a joke someone made during announcements. (waffle waffle waffle)
On another note, last night, Adam and I had dinner with my mom's Norwegian cousins -- Ragnhild and Odd -- which was SO fun. I haven't seen them 17 years, since I visited Norway with my mom when I was 15. They're in their 70s, but they seem much younger. They came all the way out here for my wedding. Two other Norwegian cousins are coming for my brother's wedding in October. It means a lot that they would come so far for us. :)
And Adam and I are getting more and more RSVP's and packages from Crate and Barrel in the mail. It's really more wonderful than I ever thought - not in a materialistic way, but because I feel so "thought of." My family always teases me that I LIVE to be the center of attention, but really, like most people, I am more likely to imagine that people don't notice or think of me much (I know, how could a priest who stands in front of 50-80 people every week ever think that???). But it's true. Receiving gifts is just a very touching thing... I feel very grateful.
Next week, I'll work a few days, and then it begins! My buddy-aunt will be in town, which will be a blast. She, Adam, the parents, Ragnhild and Odd, and other friends, in various combinations, will do things like get the church spaces ready (drag tables from all manners of corners of the building), get flowers from the farmers' market and grocery store, if necessary, to make centerpieces, corsages, and lapel flowers, find some way to make the basement parish hall a little prettier, and probably a few more things I've forgotten about. I think it will be fun.
One hour, I'm totally anxious about things like table decorations and ugly basement walls, and the next I feel relaxed and eager to see people I love. And to get married, of course.
I decided not to change my name. Being me, I still go back and forth about this a bit -- I could become Heidi Haverkamp Frieberg legally, but just continue to use Haverkamp professionally? This is such a new era in my life, but at the same time, I'll still be me. Aw, I'm just a waffler! And when I talk about it, I make Adam tired. So, I'll be quiet now, since he reads this. But then again, having something else to obsess about keeps me away from the table decorations. Maybe being Heidi Frieberg wouldn't be such a big change, But then, I already have a nameplate that says HEIDI HAVERKAMP on my office door (as of just last week!) and plus I told the congregation last Sunday I wasn't changing my name, as a result of a joke someone made during announcements. (waffle waffle waffle)
On another note, last night, Adam and I had dinner with my mom's Norwegian cousins -- Ragnhild and Odd -- which was SO fun. I haven't seen them 17 years, since I visited Norway with my mom when I was 15. They're in their 70s, but they seem much younger. They came all the way out here for my wedding. Two other Norwegian cousins are coming for my brother's wedding in October. It means a lot that they would come so far for us. :)
And Adam and I are getting more and more RSVP's and packages from Crate and Barrel in the mail. It's really more wonderful than I ever thought - not in a materialistic way, but because I feel so "thought of." My family always teases me that I LIVE to be the center of attention, but really, like most people, I am more likely to imagine that people don't notice or think of me much (I know, how could a priest who stands in front of 50-80 people every week ever think that???). But it's true. Receiving gifts is just a very touching thing... I feel very grateful.
Next week, I'll work a few days, and then it begins! My buddy-aunt will be in town, which will be a blast. She, Adam, the parents, Ragnhild and Odd, and other friends, in various combinations, will do things like get the church spaces ready (drag tables from all manners of corners of the building), get flowers from the farmers' market and grocery store, if necessary, to make centerpieces, corsages, and lapel flowers, find some way to make the basement parish hall a little prettier, and probably a few more things I've forgotten about. I think it will be fun.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
saturday evening
Saturday evenings can be really wonderful. Tonight, I'm finishing my sermon -- usually a pretty profound experience for me each week... unless I've left things a little too long. But the sermon is already in a good place tonight.
Adam and I went for a walk to watch the sun set over this prairie land. I'm actually coming to appreciate the beauty in new houses with very bare landscaping (never thought I'd say that!). But when there's a huge, orange sky behind them... it's just pretty, in a very basic, simple way.
We saw an Asian family sitting down to dinner together in one house. And bunnies scurrying across the path. And a Black family having a party in their backyard, with a little boy sitting alone on a big rock in the front yard, looking down the street, deep in thought. Then there was a porch full of Indian young adults, having a party, in our apartment complex. I really like Bolingbrook's diversity. (Bunnies, too.)
Other nice things: We made our own pizza for dinner. The comcast guy came today (we can finally watch some of the Olympics!). We made me an office corner in the study. I'm oven-roasting tomatoes (they'll be like "sun-dried" tomatoes, although the sun actually isn't hot enough in the Midwest to do it the New Mexico way).
Adam designed me a set of business cards. I've been banging my head against the wall trying to get them right in the office. Microsoft Word and the printer both have been conspiring against me, and it just wasn't worth DIY anymore. And Adam's are actually quite stylish! Thanks, babe.
Ok, back to the sermon. And I'm looking forward to the camera coming back from the factory soon -- we had to send it back for repairs.
Adam and I went for a walk to watch the sun set over this prairie land. I'm actually coming to appreciate the beauty in new houses with very bare landscaping (never thought I'd say that!). But when there's a huge, orange sky behind them... it's just pretty, in a very basic, simple way.
We saw an Asian family sitting down to dinner together in one house. And bunnies scurrying across the path. And a Black family having a party in their backyard, with a little boy sitting alone on a big rock in the front yard, looking down the street, deep in thought. Then there was a porch full of Indian young adults, having a party, in our apartment complex. I really like Bolingbrook's diversity. (Bunnies, too.)
Other nice things: We made our own pizza for dinner. The comcast guy came today (we can finally watch some of the Olympics!). We made me an office corner in the study. I'm oven-roasting tomatoes (they'll be like "sun-dried" tomatoes, although the sun actually isn't hot enough in the Midwest to do it the New Mexico way).
Adam designed me a set of business cards. I've been banging my head against the wall trying to get them right in the office. Microsoft Word and the printer both have been conspiring against me, and it just wasn't worth DIY anymore. And Adam's are actually quite stylish! Thanks, babe.
Ok, back to the sermon. And I'm looking forward to the camera coming back from the factory soon -- we had to send it back for repairs.
Friday, August 15, 2008
wedding approaches
It's interesting: the closer the wedding gets, the less stressed I am about it. I think I'm a fatalist: we don't have time? Oh well, we just won't be able to do anything about it. The sanctuary isn't big enough for everyone to have a seat? Well, we can't do anything about that now! The farmers' market flower woman can't do the bouquets? Well, we can buy some bouquets at the grocery store. The friends bringing the tablecloths from Minnesota got stuck in a storm? Oh well, we just won't have tablecloths.
Hopefully this doesn't mean the wedding will end up being crappy.
I remember my friend Shuli complaining about the wedding of a friend of hers, and how inhospitable it felt -- as thought they hadn't considered their guests at all. It was also a picnic-style reception, although I don't remember the incriminating details. I hope my fatalism doesn't bring that to pass.
We're getting married, people we love will be there, there will be food, there will be chairs (although maybe not quite enough?). I hope no one feels neglected. And now I may go look at the RSVP count, and worry just a little about the chairs again...
Hopefully this doesn't mean the wedding will end up being crappy.
I remember my friend Shuli complaining about the wedding of a friend of hers, and how inhospitable it felt -- as thought they hadn't considered their guests at all. It was also a picnic-style reception, although I don't remember the incriminating details. I hope my fatalism doesn't bring that to pass.
We're getting married, people we love will be there, there will be food, there will be chairs (although maybe not quite enough?). I hope no one feels neglected. And now I may go look at the RSVP count, and worry just a little about the chairs again...
wedding gifts
Well, our wedding gifts have started trickling in! We got the ubiquitous Kitchen Aid mixer, and a set of heavy ceramic white plates and pasta bowls. They're very satisfying to handle and to eat from. (And hopefully they won't break easily.)
Early on, I felt strange registering for wedding gifts. I've been living on my own for 10 years now. I have a lot of stuff already (true, a lot of it is "student stuff.") But people have told me how much they enjoy giving something tangible to us as a sign of their support of our life together. And the feeling goes both ways -- our friend Jim said of one of his wedding presents: "You know, I haven't seen my old friend (Ed?) in years, but whenever I use our blender, I think of him and wonder what the heck he's doing."
It's nice to be remembered and feted as we take this step in our lives, and meaningful to make some of the people we love a literal part of our new home together.
Early on, I felt strange registering for wedding gifts. I've been living on my own for 10 years now. I have a lot of stuff already (true, a lot of it is "student stuff.") But people have told me how much they enjoy giving something tangible to us as a sign of their support of our life together. And the feeling goes both ways -- our friend Jim said of one of his wedding presents: "You know, I haven't seen my old friend (Ed?) in years, but whenever I use our blender, I think of him and wonder what the heck he's doing."
It's nice to be remembered and feted as we take this step in our lives, and meaningful to make some of the people we love a literal part of our new home together.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
moving chaos continues
Why is it so hard to find a home for those last few things? There is still quite a family of objects, papers, and various stuffs that we still don't know where to settle in this new place. So, they're still living in boxes, or in strange places on the floor.
And the living room is bigger than the last one, so there's a lot of empty space! Sometimes it seems simple and open, sometimes it seems a little lonely and sterile.
It takes a while to make a home, huh?
And the living room is bigger than the last one, so there's a lot of empty space! Sometimes it seems simple and open, sometimes it seems a little lonely and sterile.
It takes a while to make a home, huh?
Saturday, August 09, 2008
moved in
Well, everything from the old apartment (380) is in the new apartment (352)! And it's a wonderful place -- the breezes blowing through this third floor aerie are just phenom. -- and the sunshine! Aw yeah!
And I have two amazing friends, Megg and Jim, who came to help us. They are saints. I mean, I'm at an age where helping people move isn't really fun anymore. And never again. Movers baby, all the way.
I'm surprised how calm I am, after such a chaotic day. But I feel pretty great. I mean, I've had a chance to rest, eat, drink, and have a few wonderful phone calls with friends, and I've been working on finishing my sermon, which is feeling great. So that all helps. But I was thinking, though, that moving and then having my first Sunday back at church the next day would be pretty crazy, but so far, I feel good. Praise God for small graces.
Right now, I'm propped up on the bed, looking out over a couple miles of view, the sun shining in, while kind kind Adam and his parents are finishing cleaning the old apartment, and getting the last dribs and drabs out. Now, back to my sermon so I can finish and we can go get some dinner at some very pleasant chain restaurant of one kind or another around here.
And I have two amazing friends, Megg and Jim, who came to help us. They are saints. I mean, I'm at an age where helping people move isn't really fun anymore. And never again. Movers baby, all the way.
I'm surprised how calm I am, after such a chaotic day. But I feel pretty great. I mean, I've had a chance to rest, eat, drink, and have a few wonderful phone calls with friends, and I've been working on finishing my sermon, which is feeling great. So that all helps. But I was thinking, though, that moving and then having my first Sunday back at church the next day would be pretty crazy, but so far, I feel good. Praise God for small graces.
Right now, I'm propped up on the bed, looking out over a couple miles of view, the sun shining in, while kind kind Adam and his parents are finishing cleaning the old apartment, and getting the last dribs and drabs out. Now, back to my sermon so I can finish and we can go get some dinner at some very pleasant chain restaurant of one kind or another around here.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Moving
Well, Adam and I have started moving our stuff into the new apartment we'll share when we get married. It's quite a job. Of course, I just moved last November, so although I am excited, I'm not quite as excited as I will be when we're settled in and the kitchen's unpacked and the pictures are hanging on the walls. And I think that will be a while, still.
This apartment is up four flights of stairs, too. And five different doors:
1. Front door (locked).
2. Second front door, into apartment lobby.
3. Door to stairwell.
4. Door out of stairwell.
5. Apartment front door (locked).
We moved some things yesterday, and boy, it was a slog. Adam was a waterfall.
I usually get pretty attached to the places I live. Even when I lived in a seminary cinderblock apartment, with hard, pocked linoleum floors, and windows that burst into frost blooms in the winters, I grew to love living there. Also, all my neighbors at Seabury were also my friends, which is rare! But I'm not finding it too hard to leave this apartment. Yes, I love the view and the trees that back up to the windows. I love how quiet and removed it is from the road. I love the built-in bookcase. But I don't feel emotional about leaving. Maybe it's because moving away is part of beginning my marriage to Adam? Or because ministry is emotional work, and I don't have extra emotion to spend on things like nostalgia for apartments-I've-only-lived-in-for-nine-months?
In any case, this weekend I'm changing abodes. Yet another major life change to add to the year! Move #1, New Job, Ordination, Engagement, Move #2, then Marriage (in 3 weeks!). Whew! I think I'm going to look back on this year in wonder, but for now, I'm just living it.
This apartment is up four flights of stairs, too. And five different doors:
1. Front door (locked).
2. Second front door, into apartment lobby.
3. Door to stairwell.
4. Door out of stairwell.
5. Apartment front door (locked).
We moved some things yesterday, and boy, it was a slog. Adam was a waterfall.
I usually get pretty attached to the places I live. Even when I lived in a seminary cinderblock apartment, with hard, pocked linoleum floors, and windows that burst into frost blooms in the winters, I grew to love living there. Also, all my neighbors at Seabury were also my friends, which is rare! But I'm not finding it too hard to leave this apartment. Yes, I love the view and the trees that back up to the windows. I love how quiet and removed it is from the road. I love the built-in bookcase. But I don't feel emotional about leaving. Maybe it's because moving away is part of beginning my marriage to Adam? Or because ministry is emotional work, and I don't have extra emotion to spend on things like nostalgia for apartments-I've-only-lived-in-for-nine-months?
In any case, this weekend I'm changing abodes. Yet another major life change to add to the year! Move #1, New Job, Ordination, Engagement, Move #2, then Marriage (in 3 weeks!). Whew! I think I'm going to look back on this year in wonder, but for now, I'm just living it.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Back from vacation
Adam and I went away for two weeks --- to see his family, in Norwalk, Iowa, and then to spend time with my parents, and my brother and his fiancee, at a cabin in southwestern Michigan they've been renting for like 25 years. There's just one other cabin between the back door and the waves of Lake Michigan, and it's on a slight rise, so you can see the water and the sunset. It's a place I've gone to almost every August, even just for a day or two, since I was seven years old. It's rustic: not insulated, there's only one real bathroom (there's a toilet and sink in the basement, but they're rusty and a little icky), and the original builders did all the wiring themselves! It was built in about 1940. That's a photo Adam took of the family sitting on the lake porch, where we'll sit and talk or read... for hours sometimes. Note the rummage-sale style furniture! Terrific.
We spend a lot of time focusing on good food when we're at Grapevine -- here my brother imitates the posture of the "beer-can chicken" he's grilling (chicken grilled sitting with a half-full can of beer up it's behind). (Sorry if that's a bit crass.) He and Laurie, his fiancee, also made us some amazing eggplant parmesan with a puttanesca sauce (tomato sauce with olives and anchovies), and homemade BBQ sauce with orange zest, fennel, and other punchy ingredients. We also had blueberry pancakes, goat cheese rolled in roasted strips of zucchini, lots of good wine and German beer, and of course, ears and ears of sweet corn.
With all that eating, we also try to keep moving. We usually head down to sit and swim at the beach every day after the sun comes down in the sky, around 4pm. My parents try to do a three-mile walk every morning, followed by a swim in the lake. We younger folk tend to sleep in, but Adam and I did a couple hikes that week, too. Here, we hiked out into the dunes to see "The Big Tree," which is a 200-year old white pine, left behind by lumber companies at the turn of the century, for some unknown reason. If you climb to the top, you can see Lake Michigan. It's super-easy to climb -- like a great big ladder. We used to climb it all the time when I was little, but your hands get covered with pine sap and scratched-up with the bark, which also gets in your mouth, nose and eyes when you look up at the person climbing above you. Bleh! So we just took a picture this time. Small note: when I was a little girl, I romantically decided that the name of this pine was "Four Winds." Ah, young precociousness.
We also spent a morning in Saugatuck -- an art colony that has become a tourist trap. We looked in at a couple of galleries -- this is Constance Petter Gallery. It was alright, but I think I've been doing this for too many years (maybe since I was 12?), so it's sort of predictable now. And the town is just so kitchy. 
(That's a quilt! My brother loves it. It's $10,000, unfortunately.)So, that's the nutshell of week 2 of our vacation. I'll tell you about Iowa in another post!
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