Frozen locks

Christmas was great, but I'm not sure how to blog about it. Too big. Instead, I'm going to tell you a story about how easy it can be to make my day.

My car lock seems to freeze every time the temperature goes below freezing. And to make it even worse, my VW only has ONE lock, on the driver's side. There's no second choice of the passenger door -- or even the back hatch, since if you climb in through the back and try to start the car the VW car alarm goes off. I'm stuck with the driver's side lock or nothing. So, I'll stand out in the frigid cold, with the wind blowing up from the wide-open floodplain down the hill (it's a forest preserve, no houses to break the prairie wind), jiggling my key in and out of the lock, trying to melt the ice with friction. It usually takes 5-7 minutes. Awful.

Why don't I use lock de-icer, you may ask. I have, indeed, tried lock de-icer. However, I could never get the stuff (aka isopropyl alcohol) into the lock, because the spigot didn't fit in the keyhole. It would spray all over the place, but it never seemed to get into the lock. So, I would stand there pushing my key in and out, watching little grains of metal collect on the key and feeling worried that I was grinding my lock mechanism into oblivion. Every once in a while, I would spray some de-icer over the front of the lock and say a little prayer.

Then my old friend Monica came to visit after Christmas, and my life changed. Lo and behold, my lock froze just as we were on our way to IKEA (one of Bolingbrook's claims to fame!). Monica is endlessly practical and vetoed my friction method. So, we went across the street to Walgreen's to get some de-icer. She listened to my carefuly-crafted story of woe, that European cars have keyholes too narrow for American de-icer spigots. But she felt sure there was an answer other than helpless indignation, and she thought we might find it at Walgreen's.

Walgreen's only carried the ONE brand of de-icer, that I've tried before. But Monica inquisitively popped off the top, and showed me the red cap over the spigot. I thought it was just to protect the spigot, you know, like the little bit of foil under the cap in a ketchup bottle.

"See, it has an elongated tip, Heidi. We can just cut it off and I think it will fit in your lock!"

I stood, dumbfounded. And Monica even has a pocket-knife. The woman does, after all, work for the Girl Scouts.

And it WORKED! And my lock was unfrozen in like, three seconds.

And suddenly my winter seems so much more fun! A great new job AND a lock de-icer that WORKS! Life is good.

Sermoning at Caribou

I wanted to take a picture of this Caribou Coffee just for a visual of where I am, but I forgot the cable to upload photos onto my laptop. Suffice it to say that I can see a lot of rustic-looking, unpainted wood, a fireplace, and many objects with antlers. I have a beat-up leather chair and a stuffed bear footrest!

I have two sermons to write this weekend, and I'm praying for a deep enough well of the Spirit to find things to say that will actually mean something to people. Coffee is always good, and I wanted to get out of the house.

Down the street, a group of my parishioners are gathering up our church's collection of gifts and food for four needy local families. There's fog lying heavy near the ground. There's hardly anyone in the parking lot this morning -- people are probably sleeping or getting ready to go shopping at places other than Chipotle, Cartridge World, Aurelio's Pizza, and U.S. Cellular. The two girls in red tshirts behind the counter are staying busy doing little coffee tasks, and I'm sitting with my bible near the front window and thinking about Joseph, Ahaz, and Paul.

Then I'll need to find time to write a sermon about the birth of Jesus, to do our Sunday liturgy tomorrow, to practice with my thurifers (Episcopalese for incense-swinger), to practice singing parts of the liturgy, and to REST in between things. My parents are coming up on the 24th to hang out, cook dinner, come to our late service, and sleep over. I want to feel on top of things enough that I can really relax and spend time with them!

I hope you will make time for the things and people you love, too. (Especially all you my pastor-friends.)

Merry Christmas!

Ordination Pictures from Adam

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Ordination

I can't quite believe it, but I'm going to be ordained to the priesthood the day after tomorrow. A ton of family and friends are coming into town. Many carpools of people from St. Benedict's are coming. My first Eucharist is on Sunday. I'm overwhelmed and awed.

My vestments are already downtown, and now all I have to do is show up. Well, that and greet all the out-of-town folks who are coming in tomorrow. And get SOME sleep on Friday night (please God!). And make sure I know what I'm doing Sunday morning at the altar.

I think it's all just going to come in a big wave and I'm not going to know what hit me. I'm still not sure I know what ordination really means. (But I've always thought comprehension was overrated.) But then, I'll be doing this for the rest of my life, and over time it will become more and more natural. That's hard to imagine when so much of my life seems so very new and strange in so many ways... I've only lived in this apartment for four weeks! I've only been working at the church for a little more than two!

Anyway, I hope you will send thoughts and prayers my way this weekend. What a full season, and what a full Christmas, this will be! Spiritually, physically, emotionally... tiring and deeply rewarding. As long as I get sleep, I know I'll be fine.

Chewing on the bible

This is a quote from a friend's blog, "More Cows," a pastor in a very rural area, that I liked and wanted to share with you. They are from a guy who has just started reading the bible recently:

"Further, he shared last week that he had heard some radio evangelist saying that you can't get anything out of the Bible unless you have the Holy Spirit. So he wondered if all the times he didn't get anything out of the Bible if it was because he hadn't had the Holy Spirit. The evangelist said something like "Without the Holy Spirit, reading the Bible is like chewing on bark, but never getting to the wood."

It's hard to read the Bible. I've been amazed, recently, preaching, how much I've had to wrestle with these holy words to find something that seemed like God speaking to me. Maybe I need more of the Holy Spirit. But the evangelist is so right, the Bible isn't magical -- you can't just open it and find beautiful answers to all of life's inpenetrable questions. It IS like chewing on bark. (Although chewing on wood doesn't sound much better, in my opinion.) Maybe it's more like trying to eat a banana with the peel still on? (yuck). Or chewing on wood and never seeing the fruit on the tree? That's better!

I love the bible. But I find it hard to read. Reading Thomas Merton or Jane Austen or wikipedia is often more clear and inspiring. But maybe it's better that God's Word is something tough to chew on, painful sometimes, violent, unpleasant, confusing, and contradictory. That's life, after all.

Bumper sticker

When I worked on an organic farm after I graduated from college, back in 1998 (!), one of my fellow interns had a bumper sticker that really annoyed me. I saw it again the other day.

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell

I just think that's the most conceited thing I've ever seen. Who has the "truth"? What's "universal deceit"? Human beings are polarized enough. Why set ourselves against one another with words like truth and deceit?

Christmas apathy?

I almost bought a Christmas tree today. But for some reason, I just didn't feel like it. I'm not ready!

Then I was at Trader Joe's, and they have the cutest little wreaths with juniper berries and walnuts on them. Adorable. But all my doors are made of metal so buying a wreath also means going out to look for an adhesive hook or one of those over-the-top-of-the-door hooks/racks. That seemed like work instead of something fun.

I do have a little string of lights and a star (that is actually a snowflake, but to me it's a star) on my balcony. I love them. Simple, beautiful, and lights in the dark!

I confess I'm feeling very anti-fuss this Christmas. (Actually, I think I feel that way most Christmases. I remember something I read in a book on how to simplify your life: "If it's too hard, don't do it." Now, in the case of things like civil rights or stopping at a red light, this doesn't work, but you know, all in the right context.)

Maybe working full-time as a pastor makes the season seem rich and full already? Maybe I'm too tired to enjoy decorating? Maybe all the snow here seems like plenty of decoration! And maybe in a new house, it doesn't seem ordinary enough yet to need anything to make it special for Christmas... just the newness is celebratory enough.

I'm also feeling uninterested in presents. I don't want to receive a bunch of stuff that I don't really need or want. My apartment is too small. And going out to look for gifts for other people also seems kind of like a drag. Food, music, a few decorations, and church (for me, anyway) are so much fun all by themselves. What would it be like to have just those things, and no presents? I'm not sure I need presents to enjoy Christmas.

Or what if we only gave each other little things? Just gifts for fun, and things you'd definitely use or eat -- chocolate, felt pens, socks... My dad always liked to put oranges, walnuts, and hard candy (ugh) in our stockings. We never ate any of it, but it was pretty and part of Christmas morning.

Anyway. I guess I'm feeling bored with presents. Or too busy to think about shopping for them. My family may just be getting socks this year.

I'll get a tree eventually, which I'll love. And I will buy presents, and probably have fun doing it! And I don't mean to sound grinchy. But I wish this holiday could be as wonderful and also be a little simpler.

The best thing

Best thing about ministry today? Making snow angels with 7-yr. old Matt in his front yard, after having dinner with him and his mom...

Slipped and slid home on the snowy streets, but all is well.