So, I may be dumb, but my name is only in for one job right now. (Well, technically two, but I've heard the second is probably going to call someone else, and I never even interviewed with them.) Mostly, this has been fine... I trust that things will work out. But lately, I've been feeling kind of liminal, in a cramped sort of way. I know all kinds of theological thinkers say that liminality is a fertile place for ideas, change, and spiritual experience. But when you're not sure where you're going to be living in three months, all that fertility feels a little frivolous.I suppose I should try to think over my spiritual practice, to try to tap into some of this liminal good stuff, instead of getting mired down in my boredom and frustration! That way, too, if this parish offers their position to someone else, I'll be in a better position to adapt and figure out what I will do instead. (My back-up plan right now is go back to being a legal assistant, as a temp, while I keep waiting.) I should probably be talking to God about all this. I don't know if any of you've ever tried actually talking with God about things, but it surprises me how often it actually works. I've gotten weird answers, and also very sensible ones. But often, I forget to ask.
I think you've still got some time, so don't stress it too much. I think the frustration of liminality is that it is an "in-between" space and it isn't supposed to last long.
ReplyDeleteI used liminality in my dissertation, quoting Victor Turner about the liminality and "status elevation." I think partly, you are now a deacon and you are wanting to deac. So, eventually you will find where God is calling you and the liminality problem will be resolved.
talking to god is over rated.
ReplyDeleteOverrated??? I love it.
ReplyDeleteI like this post + the last one together. Sometimes people think you put in your prayer and you get out your blessing.
ReplyDeleteI have mixed success talking to God. I am a "P," so I rarely feel God is telling me to do one distinct thing. But I do get guidance and reassurance this way. My spiritual director (I only went for a while) used to say that at the deepest level what you want and what God wants for you are the same.
I'm kind of in the same boat so I've been thinking about this a lot.
Liminality is a favorite theme these days! Here's another's: http://cariocaconfessions.blogspot.com/2007/06/liminality.html
ReplyDelete"But often, I forget to ask."
Me, too. And sometimes I forget to just 'be' with God, basking in the sustaining presence. Real life distracts me from...well...REAL life.
I always find your posts refreshing. Gratefully...
Thanks, Dearest Dragonfly!
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