Archipelagos aside, I love living in a place where winter happens. You can't tell in this photo, but it's blowing snow everywhere today. The maintenance guys have had to plow the parking lot three times already. We're gotten at least 6 inches - it's such beautiful stuff. But dangerous; I'm glad I only commute across the parking lot, here.You know, what I'm most afraid of for next year is not having any time. I love sitting here and making these little pages, and watching the snow blow around. Having time to cook dinner, watch Lost with my neighbors, etc.
I don't know, I'm afraid of everything, lately. Watching Pan's Labyrinth this weekend did not help: what a wonderful window onto the intimacies of fascism. So I look around at my world here, and I don't always feel like it's real. I'm so protected: I go to bed, eat my little meals in my apartment, read my books, walk across the parking lot - and all I'm really scared about it how a new job will work out! Things like this make me think my new job should be in the Sudan or Iraq. And two my div school classmates are either already there or on their way to chaplaincy positions in Iraq. Not that the work I could do here isn't valuable, but sometimes I know I'm missing out on the way most of the rest of the world lives, and that makes me, personally, feel like less of a Christian. I can't possibly know Jesus as well as those people do.
I took this photo from the side, so I wouldn't catch my reflection. Maybe it would've been better if I had - instead of pretending I wasn't there.
Hey Heidi, the biggest fear I've had is that I could find a job that could last for years and years. It scared the living daylights out of me... Permanence is frightening to me. Especially as an academic--academics sit in the same job for, like, decades. I do know what you mean, however, and church work is intense. The student life, all things being equal, is not so bad.
ReplyDeleteHi Heidi!
ReplyDeleteMicah told me you had a blog- I had no idea!
-Dave Hedges