We did not make ourselves,
it was the Lord who made us,
and it is the Lord, too,
who has remade us
it was the Lord who made us,
and it is the Lord, too,
who has remade us
From a letter by St. Paulinus of Nola, found at Episcopal Cafe, daily reading for Dec. 17.
One of my parishioners, a long-time student and teacher of the 12-step movement, is slowly recovering from her cancer treatments. Healing is not easy, as she is teaching me; being remade can be painful. But she told me, quoting a 12-step phrase she used in her social worker days: "Every day is a new beginning."
I am often struck with how powerless I feel as a priest. Ironically, this happens most often on my day off. On Fridays, when I take my sabbath day, I suddenly have time to breathe and sometimes all that time gets me brooding: about what I could do better, or ways I have come up short.
The best way to bring myself back is through prayer -- filling the stillness of my sabbath day with a sense of the presence of God, instead of the busy buzz of my own fretting. Especially in the holiday season, where so much is going on and so much needs to be done, we do well to let go of own own agency in it all and remember to let God move through us. This doesn't mean doing nothing. (Although sometimes praying, to me, feels like doing nothing, which I know is wrong.)
We do have power. How will we use it? How will I keep worry or fretting from driving my ministry, rather than what the Spirit is calling me to?
God has made us and remade us. Jesus is coming into the world to be born. Every day is a new beginning. Thanks be to God.
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