Christmas apathy?

I almost bought a Christmas tree today. But for some reason, I just didn't feel like it. I'm not ready!

Then I was at Trader Joe's, and they have the cutest little wreaths with juniper berries and walnuts on them. Adorable. But all my doors are made of metal so buying a wreath also means going out to look for an adhesive hook or one of those over-the-top-of-the-door hooks/racks. That seemed like work instead of something fun.

I do have a little string of lights and a star (that is actually a snowflake, but to me it's a star) on my balcony. I love them. Simple, beautiful, and lights in the dark!

I confess I'm feeling very anti-fuss this Christmas. (Actually, I think I feel that way most Christmases. I remember something I read in a book on how to simplify your life: "If it's too hard, don't do it." Now, in the case of things like civil rights or stopping at a red light, this doesn't work, but you know, all in the right context.)

Maybe working full-time as a pastor makes the season seem rich and full already? Maybe I'm too tired to enjoy decorating? Maybe all the snow here seems like plenty of decoration! And maybe in a new house, it doesn't seem ordinary enough yet to need anything to make it special for Christmas... just the newness is celebratory enough.

I'm also feeling uninterested in presents. I don't want to receive a bunch of stuff that I don't really need or want. My apartment is too small. And going out to look for gifts for other people also seems kind of like a drag. Food, music, a few decorations, and church (for me, anyway) are so much fun all by themselves. What would it be like to have just those things, and no presents? I'm not sure I need presents to enjoy Christmas.

Or what if we only gave each other little things? Just gifts for fun, and things you'd definitely use or eat -- chocolate, felt pens, socks... My dad always liked to put oranges, walnuts, and hard candy (ugh) in our stockings. We never ate any of it, but it was pretty and part of Christmas morning.

Anyway. I guess I'm feeling bored with presents. Or too busy to think about shopping for them. My family may just be getting socks this year.

I'll get a tree eventually, which I'll love. And I will buy presents, and probably have fun doing it! And I don't mean to sound grinchy. But I wish this holiday could be as wonderful and also be a little simpler.