My mailbox is the one with the white label, the empty one! Our names are all color-coded by year and/or degree. The white circle on the left is the end of a candle that my friend Jim keeps in his box. Tomorrow, I'm meeting with Clarence Langdon, our Canon for Deployment here in the Diocese of Chicago. Which means he deploys clergy, or matches clergy up with parishes that are looking for clergy. So, we're going to talk about jobs. Because of mismatches or perhaps even laziness, I do not have a job yet. I like to think of it as the work of the Spirit, personally. But mostly, I'm just not clear on what God wants me to do next, or even what I want to do.
When I lived at the Farm, I once told my friend Monica that I wanted God to send me a letter to tell me what to do next. Strangely, the next week a letter came from my undergraduate college nominating me for a fellowship application process to live in Asia for a year! I was floored... but excited. I made it all the way to the end of the process. However, towards the end, I began to pray that God would not make me go. And in the end, I didn't win. It all felt like some kind of planned distraction! Instead, I ended up pastoring the Monterey Church, in Berkshire County, Massachusetts, for a year. Which was much much better.
But now I want another letter. (Although I don't want a fellowship in Asia.) I may be hoping that Canon Langdon will, in some way, tell me what to do tomorrow. Act as the Spirit, perhaps. But I also feel like I'm still not ready to know - that I need to live between all the possibilities for a little longer. A friend emailed me and said, "It's your way of showing respect for all the things before you." Or I could be afraid of who I really am. Or a gambler?
I see four possibilities:
1. Leave the diocese and get an assistant position at a large to medium-sized wealthy church in another city. (I've run out of assistant jobs here, as far as I know.)
2. Stay in the diocese and become a first-call rector. Probably in a small suburban church.
3. Start an emergent-style house church in the city somewhere.
4. Something else that God has yet to reveal.
In my experience, the likely outcome would tend to favor #4.
When I lived at the Farm, I once told my friend Monica that I wanted God to send me a letter to tell me what to do next. Strangely, the next week a letter came from my undergraduate college nominating me for a fellowship application process to live in Asia for a year! I was floored... but excited. I made it all the way to the end of the process. However, towards the end, I began to pray that God would not make me go. And in the end, I didn't win. It all felt like some kind of planned distraction! Instead, I ended up pastoring the Monterey Church, in Berkshire County, Massachusetts, for a year. Which was much much better.
But now I want another letter. (Although I don't want a fellowship in Asia.) I may be hoping that Canon Langdon will, in some way, tell me what to do tomorrow. Act as the Spirit, perhaps. But I also feel like I'm still not ready to know - that I need to live between all the possibilities for a little longer. A friend emailed me and said, "It's your way of showing respect for all the things before you." Or I could be afraid of who I really am. Or a gambler?
I see four possibilities:
1. Leave the diocese and get an assistant position at a large to medium-sized wealthy church in another city. (I've run out of assistant jobs here, as far as I know.)
2. Stay in the diocese and become a first-call rector. Probably in a small suburban church.
3. Start an emergent-style house church in the city somewhere.
4. Something else that God has yet to reveal.
In my experience, the likely outcome would tend to favor #4.
First of all, I really can't see how the problem could be laziness. Showing respect for the things before you--now that's a more interesting take on it.
ReplyDeleteI myself am getting tired of living between my own possibilities, and I wouldn't mind a letter of my own.
You know, I occasionally still find stuff sent to your old address. I'll keep an eye out. I'm guessing that omniscience business makes it unlikely I'll get your God letter by mistake, but you never know. Maybe there's an angel/secretary who hasn't updated the Holy Rolodex.