Today, I spent the whole day alone in my apartment. I didn't listen to the radio, I haven't checked email, I haven't answered the phone. It's like, the best day ever.
I've been on the fritz... I spend much less time alone at Seabury that I did at U of C, and I have much less free time. I live in community, so there are people around all the time who are doing things, and inviting you to do them, too, and there are all these little responsibilities that are part of community participation. At the divinity school, pretty much all anyone ever asked me to do was my homework! Or, that's how it feels now, looking back. So, a day of doing nothing all by myself has been pure ecstasy.
As a young single woman, sometimes I get worried about the "single" part. I think almost all of us do - "quirkyalone" or not. But sometimes this single thing just feels right. I'm not sure I'd ever feel called to be a real, live Anglican solitary - those people who makes vows to live and work and be alone for the rest of their lives. Although sometimes joining a monastery seems like a much better idea than parish ministry - but then, I don't want to spend my life making caramels or creamed honey, either. I wish there was a theology or spirituality about singleness, something about more than just people waiting to not be single anymore. I've see a couple books out there, but nothing like what I'm thinking. I suppose that means I should write one. In all my spare time.
Hey Heidi, I remember talking to a classmate who said pretty much exactly what you've said. Protestant community is so focused on nuclear families, that often we disregard singlessness/celibacy as a legitimate calling. Some of the best pastors I've known, though, are single.
ReplyDeleteSolitariness vs. community is a struggle I regularly play out. This has been one of my more social weekends, but not a word of dissertation has been written :( I'm hoping to hole up tomorrow.
i think such a book would be very helpful to many. and i know you'd write it beautifully. alleluia for a day to breathe- may there be more and many. i remember your hyde park apartment providing wonderful spaciousness for such solitary days. hope you can find such space where you are planted now.
ReplyDeleteso, is singleness seeming to be vocational these days?
Yes, yes. You should write it. And then I will read it.
ReplyDeleteI second (third? fourth?) the motion that you write a book on singleness. I'd even be happy to pitch in by writing the chapters on "Why All Men are Swine" and "Cats Are Much Cleaner (and Cheaper) than Kids, Anyway." We can discuss the division of royalties at a later time.
ReplyDeletePS -- I'm loving the blog! Incidentally, we are now officially co-linked.